We need consciousness to think but we don’t need thinking to be conscious.
Therefore, one can use consciousness to control thinking that is thoughts and feelings.
Like all our body functions, thinking – around 72,000 thoughts/day – is subconscious since we are not aware that we are thinking until we decide to pay attention, to watch our thoughts and feelings. In other words, you cannot, at the same time thinking that you are thinking and keep thinking about x, y, z. When I am aware of or thinking at “ I am writing this talk “, I cannot, at the same time, think about the content and meaning of that talk.
We are hearing automatically but are we listening?
How often do you try to understand people by listening to them actively? Most of us don’t.
In fact, quite often and based on the power of our ego gravity we usually decide not to consider another point of view, not to listen and even we will argue regardless. When we disagree strongly with someone, we want to convince that we are on the right side and she/he is – by definition- on the wrong one.
Therefore there is no point to know their point of view or eventually to compromise because “I am right” and “the other is wrong”. It is almost impossible to get rid-off this mind-set. Remember this little story:
“How can I get on the other side of the river where you are standing”?
“ You are already on the other side.”
The second point is the following: refusing to argue and defend your point-of- view can be perceived, subconsciously as being a coward. We need to have the last word or we will be perceived as weak.
Furthermore we may deceive ourselves by refusing to learn something from someone else when the opportunity is there..
“My way or highway” is feeding initially our ego but this attitude is and will be very detrimental to both parties sooner or later since its repetition has cumulative effects.
This is a classic quote often used by French President General De Gaulle when he has to fire someone from his cabinet. In fact he never fired anyone since he was asking the person to sign her/his resignation letter when hired. He decided just to add the date.
If you feel being indispensable it means: you are absolutely necessary, irreplaceable, a key person on this planet.
Subconsciously or not, many of us feel indispensable. Incidence and degree vary with the period of our life, family status, circumstances, profession and ego-driven self image.
However, there are two periods in life where the feeling of being indispensable is almost nonexistent, at a young age and at he end of life. During these two extremes of our life, the ego is growing for the young ones and shrinking for the elders. Also, being under constant assistance, they may feel somewhat useless.
Between these two extremes of life, our ego grows slowly and than runs our mind.