When you notice the impulse to disagree, to object or to judge negatively, consider whether it is really necessary. In this mind practice we learn to say yes to everyone and for everything that happens within the limits of feasibility.
Could we just nod, or even remain silent and pleasant? Whenever it is appropriate and not dangerous to you or to others, try to agree with others and with what is happening in your life.
This mind practice helps us to see how often we take a stance that is meaningless, negative or oppositional.
If we are able to watch our mind when someone is talking to us, particularly if they are asking us to do something, we can see our thoughts moving back and forth from agreement or counterarguments.
Can you resist the desire to disagree verbally when the issue is, in fact, not a big deal?
Not expressing opposition will help us to learn to let go our powerful and predominant self-centered views.
In fact, you will realize that our personal opinion is usually not so important after all, meaningless or is just wrong or upsetting.
It is surprising how often our disagreement with another person is actually totally unimportant to that person especially when your opinion is not requested. Beside, the subject of the argument can be totally meaningless. Don’t bother.
This behavior is ego-driven and only serves to increase our stress, upsetting or even suffering of those around us.
Saying YES or simply nodding can be energizing, since habitual resistance is a persistent drain on our life energy.
A point of caution:
The point of this talk is not to become hypocritical, aloof , antisocial or to be a “yes man/woman”.
The point is simply not to waste too much energy arguing too often with whoever about whatever.
If you feel the urge to argue, just say something like : “I will think about it” or ”Yes, maybe”.
Neither the person or your ego will be hurt.
Just weight the pros and cons before reacting.
In Zen we say:” Swallow your words before spiting them out”. How many disasters did you ignite by doing the opposite?
Like anything in Zen practice, finding the Middle way can be tricky even when talking.