#362 Making friends with ourselves Sept:5 21

Making friends with ourselves

Cultural brainwashing

Making friends with ourselves can be a challenging undertaking because we have been taught very quickly in life that we are lacking on this and that, and we should ain to be the best on whatever.
There are things I’ve said to myself that I would never, ever say to a friend.
I’ve pushed myself too hard by telling myself that my best wasn’t good enough and that my bad stuff is too much.
Basically, we have moments of treating ourselves like someone we didn’t even like, let alone love.
Making friendship with ourselves is alien because our culture telling us to be hard on ourselves in order to achieve more and more.
Self-aggression squeezes the mind, and aggressive, negative thoughts undermine our self-image.
The perception and prevalence of a negative self-image vs. a positive one are obvious in our culture, education, and consumerism. Self-dislike of our body and intellect is a big business.
However, The stuff we buy and consultations with will never fix the negative perception of self.

If we accept that our bodies are OK, that we have flaws and weaknesses, that we are getting older every day, or that we can be down emotionally, then, we don’t need to build a better self-image through products, services, and psychiatrists. If you feel good, buying stuff is unnecessary.

Obviously, seeking professional help can / may be indicated when the self-image becomes destructive.

Why mindfulness meditation can be useful?

“Mindfulness meditation can help us in making friends with ourselves”. It’s a statement that struck me
when I first heard it, but the more I am practicing, the more profound it is relevant.

Meditation can be a part of the healing process of our self-image.
The key is not making meditation yet another way to beat up on ourselves for not being good enough.
Mindfulness meditation is learning to bring mind and body together since our wandering mind
is forced to focus on our body that is our breathing.
Being one, both become friends at least for the duration of meditation.
It is during meditation that, subconsciously, we accept what our body and mind are and do.
This acceptance is allowing becoming friends with us.
With practice, it is possible to focus, in a mindful way, on one of our negativity that is without analytic, judgmental, and decisional cognitive process.

Learn to observe one of your negative traits such as weakness. For example: “ I am observing weakness”
By doing so, you are not weak anymore, you have a perceived weakness and you observe it.
Big difference because observing it creates a mental separation between you and weakness.
You are not anymore an emotional victim of x but the pragmatic observer of it.
This is a critical step to learn so we can accept this anger then to let it go.
This mindfulness process can be applied to any negative traits and flaws and weaknesses
that all of us have or perceive to have.

This practice is part of self-compassion so important is Zen philosophy.
Again, it does not mean to be self-centered or being narcissistic. It means simply to befriend with
ourselves.
The journey is not easy but it is worthwhile to try. Thanks