#222 EGO: its role in our conflicts with difficult people

                                     Ego: its role in our conflicts with difficult people

Ego-self that is I, me, myself, and mine is absolutely critical for survival, identification, thinking, feelings, behavior at all levels and so on.

However also, ego-self is at the heart of many of our relationships

Because we perceived our ego/self as a single and isolated entity in or society, it may become very shaky and too often take a defensive or an offensive behavior. “ I am myself, then I am not you”.

These behaviors can make us difficult with others and the main source of acute rather than chronic conflicts.



                                                               Emotional suffering

 Most of us start to practice Zen mindfulness-based meditation because of problems such as dissatisfaction, unhappiness, physical/emotional pain and disillusion or for any other specific reasons happening in life. These reasons are called “suffering”.

“Maybe Zen meditation is going to fix my problems and make me happy”.

Internet and books are full of this statement and I am hearing these words very often.

Unfortunately, it never works because we are mistaken about the true cause of our unhappiness and dissatisfaction. External causes inducing “suffering” do occur but they are minority and are transient.



                                                     The pursuit of happiness by Kris

Everything we do in life is driven by only one thing and that is to seek happiness and avoid suffering. But what is happiness? Happiness is not one thing but a continuum and evolves as the person evolves. For simplicity, we can consider this evolution to be made up of four stages of the emotional mind state and it moves from the gross to the more subtle. These four stages can be classified as Pleasure, Happiness Joy and Bliss or Serenity.

At the Pleasure level, the mind operates at the lowest level of the five senses of the human body. Even animals operate at this level of the five senses. However, pleasure is transient and needs constant inputs from external sources. For example, if one likes alcohol then regular inputs of alcohol are required. This is how our reward brain circuits work. (more…)

#219 Black, White and Shades of grey by Harish (Sat. member) March 25th 18

                             Black, White and Shades of Grey by Harish member of our Sat. group

In our journey through life, we are constantly making decisions and passing judgments on one issue or another. The result of this process subjects us to emotional highs and lows. So how do we cope with the suffering brought on by this roller coaster ride of emotions and thoughts?

For around 30 long years Buddha meditated on this issue to find an answer to human suffering. He contemplated on the two paths that a person could follow. One was the path of punishment whereby a person denied himself the fulfillment of his desires and the pleasures of this world. The other path was one of indulgence. It was “live it up” attitude – eat what you want, buy what you want, do what you want and fulfill the desires of the senses.


#218 MINDFULNESS on DESIRE March 11th 18

                                                            Mindfulness on desire

In Zen Buddhism, desire (I want), it opposite hatred (I don’t want)and illusion are considered our 3 main roots of unhappiness, struggle, disappointment and dissatisfaction because they are directly related to our ego-mind.

Many think that Zen spiritual life must be free from desire. This is misunderstanding Zen message.

Desire and hatred is day-to-day ongoing reality. Getting rid off our desires and hatred is impossible because our ego mind loves to dream.

As soon you wake up you want to sleep a bit more.

As soon you go to bed, you want, most of the time, to fall asleep fast.

At 4 PM even sooner, you want to go home and so on.



                                                    Being mindful to …….nothingness

Being mindful to nothingness. This is one of these weird, and obscure wordings frequently found in Zen literature. How can we be mindful to nothing since being mindful is to focus on something x, y, z w/o analytic, discriminating or judgmental decision? What is nothing?

Here are few examples:

Can you do “nothing”? “Is nothing something?”

Can you thing about “nothing”?

Can an empty cup or gas tank being, beside air, full of nothing?

Can you listen to no sound?

What is a blank page? Empty of words?


#216 ZEN SAYING Feb. 28th 18

                                                            ZEN saying Feb. 28th 18

Make peace with the past & future (nothing you can do about them: too late for the first one, too early for the second.).
The former is dead and the later not born yet.

Both are destroying your present and the present is the only reality. The rest is mind-made fiction trapping you 24/7.It works very well.

What others think about you is none of your business unless you can improve from.

Time heals everything: give plenty of time to time.

No one is the main reason of your happiness or sadness except yourself.

Don’t compare yourself with others. You have no idea what their journey will be.

Unless you need it for a specific purpose, stop thinking too much. It is just filling time and creates ongoing deceptive illusions like mirage.

Smile: you don’t own the problem of the world.


#215 MEDITATION: a misunderstanding Feb. 24th -18

                                                   Meditation: a misunderstanding

We are attracted to practice mindfulness meditation from many reasons:because of what we read from Google or were told by others or because we want more out of our life and ourselves.

We want to be more peaceful, more centered, more balanced, more patient, more in control, wiser and more compassionate. We want more of this and more of that, less of this and more of that.

In other words, we are continuously looking for a better life from life itself. This is pure mind-made delusion.

This permanent search for changing the outside is like having a six-foot fire dancing in our restless head, fueled by external causes for which we have little control if any. (more…)

#214 ENLIGHTENMENT: when you think you are enlightened Feb. 18-18

                         Just when you think you’re enlightened

 Sooner or later it’s going to happen…maybe. It might be the very first time you meditate or few years

after a long and dedicated practice.

But someday you are going to have some sort of spiritual, extra natural or weird experiences.

These experiences come in many forms, ranging from deep tranquility to radiant ecstasy.

It their fullest expressions and intensity they are like spiritual earthquake that may transform your life.


#213 Few tips to keep a regular daily meditation practice Feb. 12 18

Few tips to keep a regular daily meditation practice Feb. 12 18

About yourself:

Prioritize. You need to somehow insert into your brain that meditation is just as important as brushing your teeth, showering, eating, and reading, whatever it is. I think it’s amazing how much time we find to answer irrelevant email but how so little time there is to sit daily. We always find time for priorities, never enough time for what we perceive as “non priorities”.

Pick a doable amount of time to sit. Don’t strive for an hour unless it seems easy to you. Fifteen minutes to a half hour daily work fine. Up it, if that seems easy and fits in with your schedule. Even five minutes will activate those neural pathways. (more…)