A: Like most of us A is carrying her/his anger:
- Why? Whom? When? How?
- Should I get even? I don’t deserve it! Son of a b…! Yes I am pi….! Get lost!
- It is unfair! Why me?
- I will never talk again with her/ his! etc.
And so on and so on moving the knife in the wound.
The Buddha (the awakened one) used to repeat over and over that anger is like a red coal that we are squeezing in our hand: the more we squeeze it the stronger the pain and the burn. He taught that we have to learn to let it go as soon as possible.
B: Instead of carrying our anger in our head B learned over months to simply observe it like a word on a screen in the most neutral and pragmatic way. Not so easy but practice will do the trick.
To observe our anger is to contemplate it or to be mindful to it that is looking at it with a non-analytic and non-judgmental way like a mirror reflecting the word “anger” as it is. The mirror does not ask why? When? How? It does not say “It is unfair” “why me?” “I will take vengeance”. No.
By controlling our emotional reactions our anger becomes just… a word and not a hot coal in our head.
If you are facing a shark while swimming in the ocean you are going to react very emotionally but if you are facing the same shark in an aquarium you are going to look at it with no fear.
Next time try to put your anger in an aquarium or just visualize the word in from of you.
You can try this non analytic approach for any kind of negative feelings such as worries, fear, jealousy, resentment, etc..
How long it will take you may ask? Few months of practice but it is worthwhile.
Ven. Ji Gong Sunim. July 13th 2015
Try this a very difficult exercise. At the next occasion stay silent when someone is expecting you to react with anger.
How can you?
When anger is coming fast (our emotional wired mind is 12 times faster than our rational one) be mindful to it that is without any analysis or judgment…. then let it go.
To be mindful & letting go are what we learn and practice during our meditation sessions.
Obviously this wonderful skill cannot be learned in only a few days!